Support from the past.......

So tonight I sit here by the fire pit out back.  I am burning all the excess paperwork and other stuff that I normally wouldn't put in the trash.  I decided to take a box out that I haven't seen in almost twenty years.   It was a box of graduation cards.   My intent was to make sure I hadn't missed anything in any envelope.  Well... I didn't miss anything.   Darn.  But what I didn't expect was some words to come back and goof me up.  I sat there with a card in hand.  Staring at it.  It was from my grandfather.  The words were something to the effect of "Through all your dreams and future endeavors, I will be behind you always." I had a real hard time putting that one down.  My grandfather has been gone for four years now this fourth of July.  And to think he has been there, behind me, supporting me.  Always.  Through a somewhat lax and troubled youth, to college, to the Marines, out of the Marines, back to Ashtabula, getting married to the love of my life, and two kids.  He never judged me, he always backed me in what ever I did, looking for whatever piece of me was missing.  At one point in life, he said to me at the kitchen table as I normally found him.  He said "I have no words of wisdom for you.   I didn't live the life you have and the situations you have been thru."  This hit me hard.  No one in my goofy ass family had.  I was kind of a loaner.  I was the step kid, the broken family child.  My sisters had it much better.  I roamed the streets, hung out at Chris' house.  I had plenty of other mothers that knew where I was.  But it wasnt till much later that I realized I was really different and I could have turned out much worse.  I always looked for that stability that I never really had.  The Marines was where I found some of that.  Then I was turned on by a jack off warrent officer.  So much for stability.  So this has all led me to where I am now....

I think I have turned out to be a pretty good father.  I love my kids.  I hope that I can instill in them all the wisdom of my grandfather.  I made a vow to myself many years ago, to not let my kids have the same life I did.  I WILL be there for them.  I want to see them start school and play sports or band or whatever their hearts desires are.  I came to a conclusion recently...... all the "things" I have had in my life, that I looked for my "missing" piece in, shallow in comparison to my family living in my house.  They are my world, my stability, my happiness.  So today, tomorrow, whatever fits your life schedule, take some time to let those that ground you, those that make you whole, how much you care and appreciate them in your life.  Let them know before you don't have that chance.  Tomorrow is no guarantee.........